As I reflect back to the time of writing my next poem, the memory of this day is still very vivid in my mind. It's not something I think about a lot but if I think about it hard enough I can still smell the earth and feel its texture as it went through my fingers. This was the day I finally got round to sorting out Danny's grave. Myself , my mum, my daughter and Danny's girlfriend spent a good couple of hours getting it just right. It was as if we had tucked him into bed. There were so many mixed emotions, but we worked as one. We laughed at the stories told, filled with the crazy things Danny did, and we cried as the finality of it all and the realisation of him not being around anymore to drive us mad, hit us hard. For the first five or six years I went over to that cemetery at least twice a day, just to sit with my boy. Through all the chaos that place became my place of rest too. I always believed Danny was in heaven but I got so much comfort from being next to his grave. Please read my next poem 'The Task.'
Danny you are in my thoughts,
Morning, noon, and night.
My heart implodes when I think of you.
Pain strikes me as you’re out of sight.
Only yesterday a task came up,
That I had been putting aside.
Strength came down and shined on me,
As the inevitable I could no longer hide.
Eight hands of love worked as one,
And many tears were shed.
Sorting out your place of rest.
It was as if we had tucked you in bed.
Covering you in a thick brown blanket to keep you safe,
And our words that time has stood still.
Words full of our deepest love for you.
Confirming just how we feel.
Lilies planted standing tall,
At the head, protecting your space.
Red and white roses placed so perfectly,
In remembrance of your gorgeous face.
As I stand back, I still cannot believe,
That my worst nightmare has come true.
That bad feeling has caught up with me,
I simply cannot bare losing you.
Words are buried deep inside of me,
I find it so hard to explain,
How on earth do I carry on,
When everyday I live with this pain.
Danny my baby I love you so much,
And I know that you love me too.
Promised together, reunited we will be.
When that day comes, I’ll be back home with you.