The hand of God

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This next part of my journey was very brief but the impact it had on me was, unbeknown to me, to get me here to where I am today. It turned out that prison was a blessing in disguise for my son. After the worry of the first few months he was moved into a smaller unit and he decided to knuckle down and do something with his life. He slowly came off the drugs and set his mind on bettering himself and began to study for his GCSE's. I was so proud of the person he became. I always say, he went in a boy and came out a man! He even had a spiritual experience and became a Christian. I was shocked to say the least, but I didn't care because my son, at last, was happy. He had great joy in telling me a group of men came into the unit from a church, who rapped the gospel of Jesus. Again, I was shocked but the big smile across his face said it all. To cut a long story short, he came out early on tag, and the church the men came from, belonged to a church just 20 minutes down the road from my house. This still amazes me as the prison was 90 miles away! The first Sunday he visited the church. I had no intension of going but after a couple of weeks, curiosity had got the better of me and I went along to have a nose. I must admit it was very weird. Not how church had been in the past, you know, from my brownie and girl guide days. I loved the songs and surprisingly for me I felt so comfortable. Almost at home, almost! Needless to say a few weeks and a few visits later I gave in and said a prayer (in my home) with the wife of one of the guys from the ministry, and I tell you something happened in the inside of me. I felt as though I was in love. I couldn't eat and I couldn't sleep. I felt the way I had done before when I met my first boyfriend. The butterflies in my stomach danced around in there 24-7. I felt amazing. I enjoyed the feeling but unbeknown to me, tragedy was just around the corner ready to strike! During this time I had the need to write, so this poem is the first of two I wrote. It was an amazing time, and one I really can't put into words... I did not have a clue what was coming!

The Hand of God



The hand of God

Touching my soul

Filling my heart with love.

The hand of God

Never to let go

Welcoming me from above.


Planting His seed

Nurturing its growth,

Watering it with his eternal power.

The key is to trust.

In Him will come strength

To arise the ultimate flower.


The hand of God

Reviving my faith

Jesus is now in my sight.

My eyes are now open.

My heart finally feels safe.

In the almighty I now see the light.


It shines so brightly on me.

Lighting the way

My journey has now become clear.

So, I will take your hand to guide me,

Forever with you I will stay,

Because now I have nothing to fear.