A simple title, but yet a word packed with so much meaning and emotion, it has the power to break down any wall of discrimination or opinionated point of view. The most universal expression of gratitude known to man or woman. Some nights I thought I was just going to disappear in a cloud of grief, never to be seen again, and most mornings I would be shrouded in unbelief, and relief that I was still here to see another day. And if I'm honest, some nights I would have gladly welcomed that would be ending to my life, as it seemed my only escape from all of the pain that came with the loss of a child. But, as I look back now I am so pleased to not have been swallowed up by the night. I live to tell the tale, and survived to experience the precious responsibility of being a nanny. My eldest grand child was born two years after Danny passed and I thank God for her as she was the light at the end of my very dark tunnel. Even that was a strategic move by my heavenly father I think, as it might've been harder to cope with if she was a boy. I don't know for sure of course, but six years later my grandson entered my world and I did have a few wobbly moments as I was reminded of Danny so many times, but somehow I managed to cope with that as I felt so much stronger in myself by then. I am so grateful to be here and I try to thank God for all of my blessings daily, and there a quite a few!
This latest poem was inspired by another one of my many visits to Danny's grave, and it says it all...
I am sitting here quietly,
And all around me is still.
I’d like to take this time to thank you,
And tell you how I feel.
I want to thank you for being there,
through the dark days that fall on me,
When grief rains down and consumes my world,
And your light shines down so I can see.
When my worst fears become reality
And I’m in my deepest despair.
When I’m lost and I feel there’s no way out,
It’s guaranteed that you are always there.
All I have to do is call on your name.
And focus on the truth.
The truth is you are living inside of me,
And the love I feel from you is the proof.
Thank you, Lord, for my salvation.
I’m convinced I would not be the same,
If you were absent from my life.
I thank you for this in Jesus name!