Temptation

For the next couple of poems were going to have a bit of a shift. They are not concerning my son, they are concerning me and a very big problem I had to face. The said problem did not go until 2009, but it started to spike when I came back from Skiathos and we lost our home. I didn't know if I was coming or going and yes, I was one of those who thought the answer to my problems lay at the bottom of a wine bottle (subconsciously of course.) I've always liked a drink, but it started to become apparent that I could not go a day without having a glass or two or three etc of wine. At this point I had no idea what lay ahead, but slowly but surely the demon drink began to take hold of me. When my sons life took a nose dive, mine did too. You see just like any addiction, its very deceitful and it actually acts like a friend at first. It did seem to take the pain and guilt away. I found all the answers when I drank, and I was confident in that knowledge too. Oh yes I could put the whole world to right in one session! And I was convinced too. But sure enough as things got worse so did my ability to control my not so new found friend!
All the words in my heart at this time spewed out on to the paper, and somehow they made sense and my next poem 'Temptation' came to life... (I hope it makes sense)

Temptation

 

An overpowering feeling

Parades its way through me.

Marching through my veins

In search of my sanity.

 

My glass in my hand is empty.

Pleading to be full.

Temptation overwhelms me.

“Drink me, you are no fool!”

 

As the liquid flows

I’m convinced that there’s no harm.

One drink cannot hurt me!

Instead, I’m feeling calm.

 

The stresses of my life

Slowly are relieved.

Cleansed by this warming feeling.

That alcohol has conceived.

 

My confidence has made an entry.

To accompany me in my plight

It’s welcomed with open arms.

To put my world to right.

 

My world is stained with pain,

Every which way I turn.

Hurt is engraved in my soul.

A release is what I yearn.

 

To trigger the right button,

And for me to feel secure.

To protect me from my demons,

So, I will not feel so inferior.

 

So, cheers, my dears, bottoms up

I do believe it’s time.

My glass is empty, oh my bottle too.

Best I open another bottle of wine.