Life is too short.

Another thing I have discovered over the years is, unforgiveness is a great massive rock we tie around our hearts. This heavy burden does not get lighter over the years, we just make our 'sensory muscles' stronger to enable us to carry it. We are always justified as we've been hurt, whether emotionally, physically or mentally and "there's a damn good reason why I hold on to it thank you very much!" Eventually it becomes a part of us and we don't realise the effect it has on our hearts. And we don't even know that all the anger, hurt and pain when amalgamated, carries the seed of bitterness which feeds on every negative thought and feeling. It has a feast in fact! I know this you see, as I held onto a lot of unforgiveness and anger. This became my defence mechanism and I would vow to never let anyone hurt me again. But of course they did, and the cycle went on and on and on. When eventually there was a forest of bitterness in my heart that was so dense that no light could come in. Something had to give! But that something wasn't going to be me! (Many, many years later I heard unforgiveness described as 'drinking poison but expecting it to damage the person or persons that have caused all the pain and sorrow.' Put like that, it made sense to me. What was I doing? I'm bitter, angry, hurt because of what they did, and they're no doubt walking around without a care in the world! And it was very mind consuming figuring out ways to have my revenge, and probably against the law! So where would I be then apart from stuck in a prison cell. It impacted my hard, hard heart, and something shifted I guess, without me even realising.)

Again, my thoughts and feelings were released on to paper. It was too late to speak to the person my words were aimed at, not that they were responsible for all of the above. But I was rejected and this had a big impact on my heart as you will see from my poem Life is too short. And yes, life is too short. Forgive. It may take years or just months or even days, but consciously say those words, as those words have the power to evict those people out of our hearts and out of our minds. We don't need to be giving them any space because they don't deserve it. Doesn't mean we have to forget and you've let that person or persons off the hook. It just means our hearts are free to enjoy our lives. Or if a relationship is worth saving, talk, forgive, make up and move on together because Life is too short and we've got to give it our best shot.

I hope that makes sense, and I hope I haven't offended anyone as I know how sensitive this subject is. I don't know what I am going to say until I start writing. Just know I've been there so many times and get it, but I also know and have experienced first hand, the power of forgiveness.
It's so liberating!

Life is too short.

 

I think you wants to say you’re sorry,

For what has happened in the past.

Life is full of disappointments,

Which I feel has been forgiven, at last.

 

I was your blue-eyed girl.

For many years I reigned.

But then my crown of admiration was taken,

When on your name I shamed.

 

I always longed for your approval,

Which I no longer received.

I felt that I was a failure,

In your eyes perceived.

 

Life is made up of regrets.

We only get one chance.

But to let go of one of your own,

Due to an unfortunate circumstance.

 

Now that you have passed,

And gone into the light.

Confronted with your soul,

And at last, a wrong put right.

 

I feel your presence around me.

You come to me when I sleep.

In my dreams you are smiling,

A memory I want to keep.

 

I long for one more meeting.

I have two things to say to you.

I love you, and always did,

And I forgive you too.